(Note: Source Links in the Years)
- 2017: tumblr user thatsmoderatelyraven’s fluffy chicken makes a guest star appearance at the new president’s inauguration. “it’s been my life goal to meet you” says the president
- 2020: tumblr has tripled the amount of blogs registered. Every pun imaginable has been made, all photos of random things in rooms have been taken in HD format, all quotes have been said. There are no more recognizable url’s, even fahjtekysuleirdtyrzdsd and jiput4qwar8tgahwsf8g9bosdiv are taken. It is a dark time. The end is near.
- 2023: Arthur has just begun its 26th season
The new voice actor’s voice has become so squeaky that only Arthur fans’ dogs can hear him
- 2025: scientists are still scrambling to figure out what “zigazig ahh” is so that they can give the spice girls what they really really want
the spice girls are getting impatient
war is upon us
- 2053: a girl lays on her bed wearing vintage ugg boots. ‘I was born in the wrong generation’ she sighs as she listens to taylor swift and cries over a one direction poster.
- 2066: physical contact has been outlawed. hug dealers tenderly embrace people in the dead of night and shady people hold hands in dark streets
- 2068: Sam Winchester is 85 years old. He begins to suffer severe heart problems caused by being old as fuck. Dean gets in his motorized wheelchair and goes to the nearest crossroads at a speed of 3mph and trades his soul for Sam’s life. It is at this point that even the crossroads demons are beginning to worry about the Winchesters’ unhealthy codependency problems.
- 2088: there is only one tree left. the tree is cut down and used to make a newspaper with the headline No More Trees
- 2137: You open your tumblr profile, again after many years. You click on the message box. 1 message. You click on it.
‘Yes, same here! :)’
And you don’t know what it was referring to beacause you don’t have a fucking sent messages box.
- 3009: a group of humans listen to boom boom pow. when fergie says that she is so 3008 they all stand shocked and realise. fergie is now behind the times. fergie herself has become 2000 and late. this is unbelievable news to the humans. hours later the planet descends into war and chaos.
- 4000: 500 years after the last great war.
Humanity survives in small nomadic tribes.
One tribe has uncovered an ancient artifact from before the wars. They believe if they can solve its riddle, they may be able to unite humanity once more.
What’s amazing is how well some of these fit together…
im gonna cry
Ladies and gentleman, this is why font choice matters.
your mums pregnancy scan was basically your first nude
How to talk to your daughter about her body, step one: don’t talk to your daughter about her body, except to teach her how it works.
Don’t say anything if she’s lost weight. Don’t say anything if she’s gained weight.
If you think your daughter’s body looks amazing, don’t say that. Here are some things you can say instead:
“You look so healthy!” is a great one.
Or how about, “you’re looking so strong.”
“I can see how happy you are – you’re glowing.”
Better yet, compliment her on something that has nothing to do with her body.
Don’t comment on other women’s bodies either. Nope. Not a single comment, not a nice one or a mean one.
Teach her about kindness towards others, but also kindness towards yourself.
Don’t you dare talk about how much you hate your body in front of your daughter, or talk about your new diet. In fact, don’t go on a diet in front of your daughter. Buy healthy food. Cook healthy meals. But don’t say “I’m not eating carbs right now.” Your daughter should never think that carbs are evil, because shame over what you eat only leads to shame about yourself.
Encourage your daughter to run because it makes her feel less stressed. Encourage your daughter to climb mountains because there is nowhere better to explore your spirituality than the peak of the universe. Encourage your daughter to surf, or rock climb, or mountain bike because it scares her and that’s a good thing sometimes.
Help your daughter love soccer or rowing or hockey because sports make her a better leader and a more confident woman. Explain that no matter how old you get, you’ll never stop needing good teamwork. Never make her play a sport she isn’t absolutely in love with.
Prove to your daughter that women don’t need men to move their furniture.
Teach your daughter how to cook kale.
Teach your daughter how to bake chocolate cake made with six sticks of butter.
Pass on your own mom’s recipe for Christmas morning coffee cake. Pass on your love of being outside.
Maybe you and your daughter both have thick thighs or wide ribcages. It’s easy to hate these non-size zero body parts. Don’t. Tell your daughter that with her legs she can run a marathon if she wants to, and her ribcage is nothing but a carrying case for strong lungs. She can scream and she can sing and she can lift up the world, if she wants.
Remind your daughter that the best thing she can do with her body is to use it to mobilize her beautiful soul.
Guys I’m dead serious here I have so much fucking coffee at least 10 litres. In my washing machine.
how on earth are you going to drink all that
you are insane
why is there coffee in your washing machine???
what the hell is going on
I don’t get it, I’m so confused. Why? Your washing machine?
Asa Akira keeps it real
these fucking things
Fun fact there things were recalled for causing “eye injuries, including scratched corneas and incidents of temporary blindness, broken teeth, a mild concussion, a broken rib, and facial lacerations that required stitches.”
these things were the fucking best
HOW THE SHIT DID SOMEONE BREAK THEIR FUCKING RIB
… Y’see, now, y’see, I’m looking at this, thinking, squares fit together better than circles, so, say, if you wanted a box of donuts, a full box, you could probably fit more square donuts in than circle donuts if the circumference of the circle touched the each of the corners of the square donut.
So you might end up with more donuts.
But then I also think… Does the square or round donut have a greater donut volume? Is the number of donuts better than the entire donut mass as a whole?
A round donut with radius R1 occupies the same space as a square donut with side 2R1. If the center circle of a round donut has a radius R2 and the hole of a square donut has a side 2R2, then the area of a round donut is πR12 - πr22. The area of a square donut would be then 4R12 - 4R22. This doesn’t say much, but in general and throwing numbers, a full box of square donuts has more donut per donut than a full box of round donuts.
The interesting thing is knowing exactly how much more donut per donut we have. Assuming first a small center hole (R2 = R1/4) and replacing in the proper expressions, we have a 27,6% more donut in the square one (Round: 15πR12/16 ≃ 2,94R12, square: 15R12/4 = 3,75R12). Now, assuming a large center hole (R2 = 3R1/4) we have a 27,7% more donut in the square one (Round: 7πR12/16 ≃ 1,37R12, square: 7R12/4 = 1,75R12). This tells us that, approximately, we’ll have a 27% bigger donut if it’s square than if it’s round.
tl;dr: Square donuts have a 27% more donut per donut in the same space as a round one.
Thank you donut side of Tumblr.
rule number 1: You never ever tell someone to kill themselves
rule number 2: You never tell someone that they are fat
rule number 3: You never tell someone that they are too thin
rule number 4: You never judge someone and point their flaws
rule number 5: If you don’t have anything nice to say just shut the hell up